Your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life, confirming your love for one another. Everything was ready the dress, the children's outfits, every fine detail ironed out. Then four days before the special day my whole world came crashing down, right in front of my eyes. The pain was unreal. I had spent over 10 years with this person, had 3 children, went to uni, went to work, brought a house, moved house, lived a some what normal life. Life with him was all I had known and I truly thought my remaining years where going to be happy. So what went wrong?
I don't want to share too many details as anything I share could potentialy be read in the future by the children, so for that reason I would like to keep things private. Especially being so emotional still. Over the last few weeks I have never experienced so many emotions in my life; anger, sorrow, frustration, anxiousness, resentment, fear, heartbroken and rejection. I was so upset that my whole life, and my children's life has been turned upside down and spat out.
This really shows people, when you think your are really happy and future is positive, things can change in a matter of days, hours or minutes. Now I am utterly thrilled with myself upon returning back to work after having Isabel, this is something I was debating. But now in my circumstances I'm so pleased I still have a security of a job, it gives me my own independence, money and secured a more positive future for my children. I would now without a doubt strongly recommend to anyone who was debating whether or not to return back to work after having 1,2 or 5 children to return back to work for their own and children's sake.
But now coming to terms with things, this could all be for the best. Although it doesn't seem it now, things have a way of working out. For me personally I'm now going to apply for a PGCE to finish off my teacher training. This is something I have been debating for the last few years, but now it's clear. On a teachers wage and the equity from the house I should be able to secure a new home for my family, this is something I couldn't have done on my current income. My main priority now it ensuring my children have everything they need and more. To carry on supporting them with all their extra curricular activities, to give that holiday each year, and most importantly to tell them they can achieve anything they desire. Whether that be with support from a partner or independently. To my 3 babies, I Love You.
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